Engaging in our Loss

I have been thinking about the activities that helped me grieve. Some of the most powerful were actually the most simple. I was born into a Jewish family and everytime we had a loss in the family we would bury the body quickly, have a ceremony and then prayers for 7 days. Then every year we would light a Yahrzeit Memorial candle to honour them.

We brought a rose bush and had a little ceremony out in the garden. There were only the two of us, but it felt really right to say a few words together. Then for 7 nights, I lit candles around the house and said little prayers. I was definitely in mourning.

It felt a little crazy, but it was one of the best things I did, even though around me no-one acknowledged my loss and found it difficult to talk to me about it, especially in my immediate family and some of my mother friends. Every night myself and my partner would have three minutes sharing each way about how we felt about our loss. It defintely kept us close at this time.