Twenty years ago after a big change in my life, I found myself back in London, where I was born.  I hated what I was doing, a croupier since I was 18.  I had travelled and worked abroad and found that I had become negative and depressed.  I knew that something had to change and so I left my job!  I remember sitting on my sofa thinking 'and now what Helen?'  I didn't know what I liked, I didn't know what I was good at and all the people around me thought I was totally bonkers.  This was the start of a journey of personal discovery, as I had learnt that I was suffering from an eating disorder and suffered from low self-esteem.

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When I look back at that time, I didn't have a plan until later.  I really was living a day at a time.  I entered into personal therapy.  I began to play again and started to trust that each action I was taking was bringing me closer to what I was meant to be doing in my life.  I enrolled onto a course, which took me towards teaching and working with children with learning disabilities.  Within that year I learnt I was dyslexic and I really wanted to explore my own creativity.  I joined a part-time course in drawing and the rest is history.  I began to believe that 'everyone needs to feel and connect to their own creative force.’

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After my degree course, achieving a 1st Class Honours Degree in Design and my Teacher Training in Leicester, I journeyed to Aylesbury.  There I spent a very happy five years teaching Art and Textiles and creating my home.  It was a place I thought I would settle for the rest of my life, but it seemed not to be.  I met my partner in the summer of 2007 and after two years together and a bit of commuting, I was asked to make a big decision to move down to London, and to try to start a family.  In 2010 I moved, it was one of the largest decisions I had made in my life, it felt right, though my fear lived next to me for quite some time.

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In 2014 I decided that I wanted to combine my creative, teaching and personal development work together.  I enrolled on an Integrative Art Therapy Foundation year and loved it and today I am personally working towards completing my Diploma in Child Counselling using the Arts. 

I continue to be aware of my blocks and overcome them.  I learnt about the Intuitive Painting Process and connecting to our Point Zero through Michele Cassou’s books and website.  I have also taken Chris Zydel’s online Painting with Fire courses and feel privileged to have been mentored by her. This way of creating is truly remarkable.  It is one of the most powerful therapeutic tools we can use to hold, love and heal ourselves.  

 

I truly believe that Art Heals!

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In 2015, I chose to let go of a life long dream of becoming a mother after two rounds of IVF and lots and lots of heartache.  I knew that I had been avoiding that grief for a while, and I knew it was time to let go of the dream.  I was so grateful I had the tools to express my pain, depression, sadness and the masses of anger within me.  I turned to my art practise with GUSTO!  I painted and wrote regularly.  I used ritual and shared my expression on the Gateway forum and with safe individuals who were able to listen, encourage and love me through my Grief Work.  I let go of others that couldn’t do this.  I started to feel that something was shifting within me.  I was so grateful I had an outlet for my grief and I had not hidden it away within me, knowing that this just makes me emotionally and physically ill.  It was not a comfortable process, however, slowly but surely the pain started to subside.  I started to notice that situations that used to trigger an emotional response within me had disappeared.  They are not all gone, but it feels a little more manageable.  Today, I am starting to feel so much stronger within myself and I am thinking positively about the future in such a more loving way.  This is a true miracle, from the place I had once been. 

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This year I created the ‘Grieve with Gusto’ workshop.  It combines all the tools I used on myself last year and still does when the pain hits or I feel a little stuck.

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Why I do this

 

I truly believe that the creative tools I use, has helped me move forward in my life.  I want everyone who is finding their grief overwhelming, who are finding it hard to breath at times, who feel lost and alone, to have a way to express themselves in a loving and safe way.  Art truly Heals!

 

What I can do for you

 

• I can help you find your voice through this grief and loss!

• I can help you be heard and seen.  

• I can help you stand for yourself and what you are going through and give that a voice.  You deserve that.

• You deserve to be heard, seen and respected for what you are going through.  We all do!